April 7, 2004...

I was going through my old xanga (weblog) and I ran into an old entry that I wrote in regards to life, God, and what other random thing I was thinking of at 10:30pm at night. I'm going to post the entire entry because, for once, outside of my old blogging style, which mainly consisted of curse words and other obnoxious bull, I actually wrote something somewhat logical. Maybe I was high when I wrote it, who knows? It's funny to read up on things you've written in the past. To see how much I've grown as a man and what I was thinking at that time. Funny, 4 years ago I was such the philosophical type. Now, I'm a man of God. Well, enough of the babbling, enjoy readers!

Where can I start? Where should I begin? Maybe I should be straight to the point rather than add a lot of words to cover up the message. A lot of people out there are different. Yes, that's true. If you get any deeper, you will find yourself pulling your hair out unless you've already shaved it. Other than that you will find yourself smoking up a yos asking yourself the same exact question.

Let us begin with God. Everything peaceful is mostly related to our almighty Father. He/She created everything. All that is good. And most especially all that is evil. I know God is an existent presence in our everyday lives. Some of us look toward him for hope. Some of us look toward him for blessings. The majority of us, so it seems, don't even acknowledge his presence. I do apologize to the ladies though because I referred to God as a He. God can be a she as well. Anyhow, to the main point I was trying to make. We have to realize that their is a balanced force in this world. Good can go with no wrong. Bad cannot exist if there's no good. In order for us to survive as people we have to learn to control this balance. We can't always strive to be perfect people and live under the word. We are all susceptable to failure. Even as we are older. We're always in a learning process. Like the spokesman, Ace1 would say, "The higher I get, the lower I am." We achieve a high yet we are still low. A balance. We can never be better than the other. This is the battle we all fight within ourselves. A never ending battle. A battle that may well lead to our dying day. The answer always remains at the end. All in all, do the best you can with life with what you got. We'll find everything out in the end.

This blog right now that I am writing is inspired by a song that a dear friend gave me. A song that reminds me of the peaceful serenity of life and it's wicked counterpart. She asked me to bust to this, and I declined. But hear me out, for just this moment, my mind was thinking in rewind. Back to present, I sit and patiently await, what future beholds me in front of this new gate. I open it...and i realize, too much deep thinking often blinds what I have to handle and take care of. In all honesty, this is a culmination of mass thinking in my head. It's time to empty out the old and re-up on the new. I was scolded, and it was much appreciated, about writing certain things on this. This is an online journal right? Yes it is. I'm sorry I don't have those personal journals where I write my most secretive thoughts in. I gave that up a long time ago. I chose to stay real. What do I have to hide from? Criticism? Big deal, all criticism is constructive. People choose to read my thoughts because they want to know who I am. Well, you're getting to know alot about me by reading. I ain't going to hide anything. I do keep to myself, but there's no doubt in my mind that the shit in my head will be written on this xanga. So read and enjoy. Criticize, critique, do what you will. But this is me. Accept it like I accept ya'll.

I didin't start this blogging for attention. I started it becaue, well, it is my thoughts. Later on, I grew to discover that some people do have a unique way of finding you. Well, you found me, congratulations! Now you know what is up with me. If you don't, well you can back track to the past shit and catch up. I'm just as normal as anyone else. Even the most blessed man has some wickedness in his soul. If you're my friend you would understand. A lot of my friends don't know me to well. That's just the honest to God truth. No one knows me as good as me. And on the serious tip, I really don't know what I'm going to do next. Will I achieve and believe, or will I just flat out fail? But there is always a getting back up and continuing on.

My head is starting to hurt writing this. I'm going to stop right now...I'll continue on later...

"Did I blow your mind this time? No? Well, I guess you haven't heard me kick a freestyle yet."

- Dennis Galang